NOTE: I am not actually, officially moving to Japan any time soon: I've just been thinking about it on a serious note for some time now. If you are looking to read something about preparation for moving abroad, this is the wrong place. This is no way an accurate post on Japan or it's customs as I have never been. I'm just trying to make sense of some major confusion by venting.
WHAT IS MY PLAN?
If everything goes to plan, in just under two years I will have graduated from college with a music technology and English-teaching qualification, (and hopefully 1 extra English A-level if I can cop it) gotten into university (who knows where), and saved enough money to move to Tokyo.
WHY?
So I've always pretty much had a great interest with Japan (and no, not because of anime) - most likely because my dad lived there before I was born and I grew up hearing stories about the brilliant, unique culture and I was always surrounded by Japanese food, people, etc. As I grew older the dream started becoming a serious goal.
NOW FOR THE RANT:
I'm so confused. Until now I've had no doubts about moving to a completely new place. But as we get closer to 2014 I get closer to Japan and have started to do some early research just to make sure that this is the right choice for me. (I know it's pretty early, I have plenty of time, but I like to plan my future, and I need to save alot of money if I want to ultimately go through with this) The research and the things I'm finding are freaking me out. Now I know this is the internet, where stories and tales are exaggerated - however without actually visiting the place myself, I just don't know what to believe, and it's not like I'm hearing really bizarre, unrealistic things, but things that are certainly putting things in a new perspective for me.
I've always known that Japan is, well, a little 'weird', but I've always appreciated it's little quirks, in-fact I've found overly-convenient vending machines, giggling Harajuku girls and talking toilets quite refreshing. No doubt Japan's technology and even creative outlets are way more ahead of the West (IMO), and even though certain Westerners have a trouble adapting to even the basics of Japanese culture, I think I will be alright living alongside my favourite food and language. I'm a quick adaptor, and I love to be a part of a culture and make new friends, but doing some heavy research has made me re-consider alot of things.
My sources have been from real girls who live or have lived in Japan, you-tubers, bloggers and those who have just answered questions.
The Japanese customs are really strict and well-respected, growing up this was only a positive thing for me, as I only heard things such as "Japanese people are super polite" from my dad or "They either read or sleep on the trains, everyone is quiet" which is something I can definitely live with. And even recently discovering that you can't talk on the phone on trains or talk very loudly is something I can respect and live with.
But when I hear things like, "don't stand out" and "only use chop-sticks with your right hand" - that freaks me out. Although some say most foreigners will get away with making mistakes just for being a foreigner, one of the vloggers 'Gaijin' (foreigner) tips was genuinely "don't do anything different from the Japanese customs or else you will.." - and I quote, "be thought of disrespectful and look like a rude idiot" - and to us, these are simple minor things as small as placing chop-sticks on the table the wrong way round.
As a strong believer of individualism, I don't know how comfortable I am with these statements, but out of respect (or maybe just out of pure fear) I would try my best not to "stand out" and do everything right anyway. And even though things like chopsticks don't define who we are, I can't get my head around how "standing out" could be a bad thing and acting like a robot is a good thing. It's hard to learn about these "rules" when they have such great creative culture (including fashion) which breaks the whole "don't stand out" thing.
(Although, I do at this point feel as though I am underestimating my tolerance levels, I've visited strict on what you wear countries and I've been okay)
So my second problem (one that some may accuse as minor) is that apparently dating as a Gaijin girl is really hard. Sources have shown that most foreign women have a hard time finding a partner whilst living in Japan. At first, this was hard to believe, but then it actually started making sense. First of all you wouldn't believe how stupid, ignorant and idiotic some of the Western men living in Japan are on these forums. In-fact, I wouldn't even call them males, as they can't handle the "ego-istic bitches" that Western women apparently are. These so called "charisma men" aim to attract all the Asian women as they are more traditional and girlie to their appeal, (apparently) - and act like pricks when encountering Western females, and to their advantage Japanese girls are completely memorized and desperate to get into a relationship with them. Now obviously, that's not the attitude of all Gaijin guys, charisma men are usually guys who go to Japan as a form of escapism, and where back home they may not get any attention from females, in Japan they certainly do. On the other hand, Japanese men are a completely different story, and a complex one at that. To put it simply: they will stalk you to take pictures of you, and ask you to be hostesses, but won't date you. Wait, what? Apparently Japanese men are extremely attracted and slightly obsessed with Gaijin girls, (there is even something called Gaijin hunters) but they aren't interested in a relationship, ever. I figure that they are convinced that we are not traditional and that we are hard to handle or something (sad face). But in all honesty, if this is really the case, then that sucks. I'm not sure if this the majority or minority but there are definitely exceptions, many girls have happily been married to Japanese guys.
My third concern is safety - now although Japan is well known for being one of the safest countries, low crime rates in theft and what not, to the extreme where you can leave your iPhone to save your space at a coffee house. But on the negative side, crimes like assault and stalking go unreported and they are quite high. The Japanese police don't really care too much about certain things and plus as it is a Japanese custom to "ignore trouble" it is unlikely that you would get any help from anyone if you are being mugged or assaulted, unlike the UK/US. Foreign women often feel objectified in Japan, because of the stares and comments. But the problem is that the perverts and weirdo's assume that foreign women (as many don't speak Japanese) are easy targets. Property crime, theft and murder rates may be lower than most countries, but men assaulting women is a significant criminal problem in Japan, and the assailants are Japanese men. This certainly puts me off, for obvious reasons that I won't even explain.
SUMMING UP MY CONFUSION:
I feel like I'm suffering from culture shock even before getting to Japan. From hearing this to that, not knowing what to believe. But I've taken a massive breather from my research and all I can say is that I'm not going to back away from what I have always wanted just because I am a female. If I become a victim of what society wants us to be, then it will never make any improvements - and so with difficulty, I'm going to continue to do what I want, and that includes moving to Japan. If I'm determined to work hard enough to make it happen then it must be right. Every country has it's flaws, and I am to be tolerant of them. Recently I have met many people in Sydney (girls and guys) that have been to Japan before and all encourage me to do it, and have re-assured me that it's the right place. Whether I get there in the end or not, it's still going to continue to be my plan.
-Good Luck to all of you girls who want to move independently to a foreign place from Yung Gurl.
